I cant hide

Worried.
Im so confuse and i dont know what should i do.
It says no, but somehow i feel that its a yes.
But then again, he says no. What should i do?
Maybe, i should trust him.
Then, why am i so worried sick about it?
If its a yes, where should i go??
When will i go?? Or how should i give it?
In a name of God, hopefully its not.
Amin.

Blood to blood

" I am what i am, I do what i want."

A moment of life is a moment of hell.
People say, people goes.
Never had things to worry, only worries come with a thing.
Stressing cause of pain.
Blood didnt came out.
Funny, i thought im going to die.
But i wont go, i wont sleep untill it came.

New life

First i thought i was having a great fun, but ended i blew everything up.
Everything i did, i done its all a waste.
Frankly, I'm not the type of prefect girl that everybody wants.
I'm a normal and randomly out of focus girl.
Even, bad in me starting to be good.
The past I've done, i regret.
And I'm hoping that God gave me a second chance to lead my life in a good and respected way.
Ive done shame to myself and i done many shame to my pride.
I'm not going to do it again, cause even Bad person has their Good side in their lives.
And I'm living my Good and for Good side of mine.
May God bless me. Amin

Daddy

I miss this 'Dad' of mine.
He may not be my real Dad but he is a great father a child could have.
How i miss those times that our small 'family' be so happy and crazy.
But now, every things didn't seem a family to me.
Only me and my sister kept it alive even we hardly see each other.
And i swear that I'm going to get my small happy and crazy family back.
I promise to myself i will even it takes me years, i will bring it back.

"When times starts to tumble and fall, the earth starts to move apart."

Syilah

I just don't know why i love mixing with old people.
And seriously, i have no idea why I'm so close and closer than you think with her.
Not as in a lesbian shes more than a best friend to me.
A GREAT SISTER.

Ive look around and see that i am so lazy to go to school.
Maybe the environment there doesn't suits me well enough.
Then again, i regret going ITE.
Some may say that Ite life are the best. But to me i prefer Secondary life.
But fuck me for not having enough money for Shatec.
Asshole life.

Sharizal's Girl.

He who send me this through Facebook email.
And obviously he piss me off every single day of my life.
Yet, I'm madly in love with him until today and the next day and the rest of my life.

Grumpy me makes fool of me and be ashamed to be me.
I get nothing when im madly mad.
I get nothing when i win or lose.
All i get in myself with a red face.
Now i hate myself when im became monster.
Still, this is who i am.

Seriously, Fucked.

Fuck you for lying to me.
Fuck you for knowing nothing about me.
Fuck you for being too kind.

Fuck me for being fucking friendly
And fuck me for killing my shit up again.

Sometimes i wish that walls can speak back to me.
I feel that talking to humans are wasting my time, some humans.
I wish Tommy is with me right now and if he's still alive, i bet my life will be cats and mice's again.
I miss him. And i feel damn regret for not taking him with me.
Blame it on my Grandfather. He probably hates animals i guess?
But seriously, if my family didn't moved here.
I think Tommy would love it and so do i.
Well, blame my dad and blame my Step fucking Mother.
Don't ask, its a never ending story. Sheesh.
And now,
I don't know why i feel so emotional nowadays.
Maybe i never let or tell anyone what i kept inside me and who i really am.
I guess im a loner or a egoist who will never change the attitude that been pissing everyone around.
Maybe what he said to me is true.
I never listen to my heart all i do is getting mad and let everything out on him.
And one damn hot tempered bitch.
But seriously, when comes to relationship, i suck.
But when comes to friendship, i rock.
Maybe i have the power of two personalities?
Hmm. But all i know that im good at acting.
In real life not on television.
But only one thing i know myself is that,
If you try to piss me off or better, find fault with me or my love ones..
Im so going to make you pee in your pants or skirts if you're a girl.
Even i can make your life fucking miserable and please, dont think that i am a girl that you think you can pushed me around.
But for your information girl like me never stand a chance.
So mark my words.

Hopeless words.

"I got it all at the back of my Head."
-The Spinto Band

And now, everything seems to be ending. Not sure why.
Maybe the world is old.
Raining now days and thunder are getting louder every time.
I'm scared, maybe i feel that my time is going to end soon.
But who am i to know when I'm going to die.
But all i know every living things have to die.
And still, I'm scared. Many things are in my mind now.
And only one that i haven't know the answer yet.
'What do i get when everything starts to fall?'
This line and this sentences been playing through my mind every now and then.
Well, its my job to find out the answer that i've been waiting for a long time.
Still, what do i got lose?

Caught up.

"I'm not done but you asked me to go, even it hurts me so."

A sudden of line ran across my mind while lying on my bed.
And straight i wrote it down cause just in case that i would want to use that line for some things.
Now, i feel so frustrated and i feel that no one is listening to me.
What did i done wrong? Why must i feel this way?
Is this my karma? Maybe its just a Sunday that i wouldn't want it to be.
Well, fuck i hate today and tomorrow.