Pain and brain

Longer i live the longer sins come and never go.
Its always been me. Too many hatred lives within me.
I scream thousand of name but none sounded.
I've gone hundreds times but only a reason why i stayed.
Not too much of fame but fame is not what i needed.
Lips kept on moving but in the end it need a charge.
Those smells i've been smelling it still kept continue playing in my mind.
But only two im asking.
Meditate my pain & Heal my brain.